


The Turkey Fic

by illegally_blonde



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Marvin - Fandom, Whizzer - Fandom
Genre: Cum glaze, Falsettos - Freeform, Mendelxdirt, Other, Thankful, Thanksgiving, Turkey - Freeform, cheesetos, marvin x milk, musical theater, unlikely lactose lovers, whizzer x cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:35:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegally_blonde/pseuds/illegally_blonde
Summary: Mendel finds himself in a sticky situation on Thanksgiving. (Not suitable for vegetarians)
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Inanimate objects - Relationship, Mendel/Dirt, Mendel/Turkey, Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 3





	The Turkey Fic

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read "The Cheese Fic" or "The Milk Fic" by @sugarbea please go read. You probably won't regret it.

The sweet aroma of sweet potato and pumpkin pie filled the house of Mendel and Trina Weisenbachfield. That time of year bringing food and gratitude had rolled around again, as it did every year. With it, of course, brought Mendel's most secret shame. Mendel had a love for turkey. Now, this may not seem so unusual for turkey is a pretty great food, you could argue. This type of love was unusual, however. This was the type of love a man could only have for a woman (or in some cases, another man), but never any sort of food. This love for food has been unheard of. There were rumours, of course, about love for lactose products going around within the relationship of Marvin and Whizzer. Once again, they were merely rumours. 

"Mendel, honey, I'm going out to buy a few last ingredients for dinner. Could you keep an eye on the turkey? It's on the counter," Trina asked, her eyes shining with love. Trina didn't know about Mendel's infatuation with the bird so how could he deny her request?

Mendel sighed, "Of course, dear." 

Trina flashed him a smile, "Jason will be here at 5 with Whizzer and um, you know, then Cordelia and Charlotte should be arriving soon after." 

Trina was out the door within minutes and the juicy scent of meat began to waft around the room Mendel stood in, seemingly arousing him. He tried his best to distract himself wandering about the living examining every piece of the furniture closely, hands in his quickly tightening pants. There was nothing he could do about it, the simple smell of turkey was turning him on. Mendel sighed and unbuckled his pants letting them fall to the floor, soon followed by his boxers.

His hands trailed down to his raging boner, throbbing at the perfume of his dinner. He pumped himself a few times but it provided little relief. There was no way he was going to get himself off without the help of Trina - or the food... 

Mendel thought for a moment. It was nearly a quarter to 5 - when everyone would be arriving. He knew he had to leave the turkey alone or there would be nothing to eat for Thanksgiving - but he couldn't clear his mind. All he could think about was being inside the turkey, calming himself, making everything okay again. Of course, if he pulled out before he came, he could wipe the turkey and no one would know. That's what he would do, he decided. 

Mendel made journeyed to the kitchen, as quickly as he could and moved the turkey from the counter onto the table where it was the perfect height. He massaged the turkey slowly, greasing up his hands and rubbing his dick afterwards to make an easy entrance. He entered the hole in the back of the turkey, groaning at the sensation it brought him. Slowly he started to rock his hips back and forth, creating friction between him and the hole. He began to move faster, loud grunts escaping him - pleasure building up. He pulled out and teased the outside of the entrance with the tip of his penis, sending shivers down his spine. It felt so good. The crispy skin of the turkey satisfied him in a way he had never before been satisfied. It felt so much better than it did with Trina. He couldn't help it, it was just meant to be. He entered again, moving briskly in and out moaning loudly with every movement.

Mendel suddenly felt a most familiar feeling, he was so close. With one final rock, he pulled out and released all over the top of the turkey muttering profanities all the while. That was incredible. He cleaned himself up and re-buckled his pants, just in time for the sound of a door opening and the voice of his wife. 

"I'm home!" 

'Shit' Mendel thought, he hadn't had time to wipe the turkey. He quickly grabbed some paper towel and tried to clean up his mess as best he could, but his cum only spread. 

Trina entered the kitchen and grinned proudly at Mendel, "Oh darling, thank you. I guess I forgot to oil the turkey and you did it for me!"

"No, I-"

Trina cut him off, "Don't be so modest, I knew some of my cooking skills would rub off on you. And just in time too, everyone is in the driveway."

Mendel gasped audibly as everyone entered the house. Trina greeted them and they all shouted bouts of gratitude. "Everyone come into the kitchen," he heard Trina's voice from the other room. "Mendel helped with the final preparations for dinner tonight!"

Marvin entered first, followed by Whizzer, Jason, Trina, Cordelia and Charlotte. "What a lovely table," Cordelia praised. 

"Such a romantic table," Charlotte winked, nudging Cordelia in her side. 

Everyone took their seats and Marvin began carving the turkey, sweating. After everyone had stated what they were thankful for, they began to dig into the meal. 

"What did you glaze this with, Trina?" Whizzer queried, "It's unexpectedly salty, but seasoned to perfection. Is it different from last year?"

Marvin chimed, "It delicious, Trin, really."

"Well," Trina smiled brightly, "Thank Mendel. I don't know what he did differently but I must agree, it's good!"

Mendel chuckled nervously and nodded his thank you to Marvin and Whizzer. "Who knew cooking could be so fun?"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about this, don't blame me.


End file.
